Chuck's Chili Dogs: Business as Usual

[Leedzie]

It had been a long day so far. Not so many customers as usual. A lot of the regulars seemed to be missing. Where the hell was everyone? Had they fallen off the planet or something?

...

.......

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Yeah, really slow day.

Uncle Chuck tipped backward in his chair and let out a hearty yawn. I must ACTUALLY be getting old; I feel like a nap in the middle of the day. The wait between customers was going to feel longer and longer if he didn't do something. Chuck glanced back into the kitchen, where a wealth of activities awaited his attention: food prep, cleaning, inventory, restocking, various unfinished gadgets...

Eh, too boring. Instead he whiddled a chao out of a potato.

[Raki]

And... Chuck's customer shortage came to an end...


...with the arrival of a shifty looking wolfy/weasely sort of bloke, who silently took his place at one of the many empty seats. He didn't greet Chuck (yet, at least), but instead gawked at the menu board.

Still can't understand a lick of any of it... what sort of language is that supposed to be??

Reading the menu, apparently, wasn't going to give him any idea of what was sold here, specially since he couldn't read it in the first place. So, instead, he gave a tentative sniff. Chili? Smelt like it... among other things, yes, but mostly chili. It stood to reason that this would be a chili dog stand, then. There used to be a lot of them before the coup...

And there was nothing wrong with chili, anyway. Food was food... even if he'd much prefer something more along the lines of red meat.

[Jamie Lee]

A cyborg rabbit also appeared. As she walked down the sidewalk she laced her fingers behind her head and stretched her back, then casually took a seat at the stool closest to the elder hedgehog behind the counter.

"Howdy Charlie!" she greeted pleasantly, waving to him.

[Leedzie]

"Hey, kiddo!" Chuck replied, getting up from his seat and leaning over the counter to kiss her cheek. "Boy are you a sight for sore eyes; it's been REALLY slow today!" The old hedgehog nodded toward the weasel at the other end of the counter. "That guy only got here a minute or so before you, and hasn't even ordered anything. He's giving the menu a lot of scrutiny."

Having said that, Uncle Chuck then turned his full attention to Fang. "Can I help you with anything there, or are you still deciding?"

[Raki]

Staring at the menu wasn't making it anymore readable so...

The weasel smirked at the elder hedgehog.

"Yeah, sure. I'll have..." his finger drifted to point at one of the images on the menu board, "... that."

Having said that, his gaze turned to the other customer at the stand. Well, mostly looking the other customer up and down. He may of done even more, but... well, his ears were still ringing from the last time women he talked to. Besides that, this one seemed to be partially roboticized... and seeing as women did have a tendency to hit or kick him directly after he said something to them, that could turn out to be quite painful. So, better not to say a word...

[Jamie Lee]

Bunnie glanced over at him with a bit of curiosity. There was something... vaguely familiar about him, like maybe she had seen him at some point before. But she couldn't put her finger on what or when. So instead she smiled and gave a wave at him "'Lo there strangah! Ain't nevah seen you round the stand before. What's yer name?"

[Leedzie]

Uncle Chuck went about retreiving Fang's order -- the standard plate of chili dog and fries -- and soon after fixed a second meal for Bunnie. "What do you want to drink?" he asked Fang, already filling up Bunnie's cup with her usual lemonade. "You get a soda with your meal there."

The hedgehog set Bunnie's cup next to her plate, and looked at the potachao he'd created earlier. After rolling it around in his hand for a moment, an eyebrow arched in the air, Chuck non-chalantly moseyed to the grill area and dropped it into the frier with a ploop, followed by a crackling sizzle.

[Raki]

Ah, finally. Someone who DIDN'T mysteriously know his name! Still, it'd be best not to throw his name around, seeing how many people did seem to know of him these days...

"Nack. Haven't seen me around because I haven't been here before... not even sure where I am, really."

And then the hedgehog's question. Soda? Fang hadn't had soda since... well, he couldn't remember when. So, it was understandable that that question got an quizzical look from him. "What'cha got?"

[Jamie Lee]

The rabbit smiled "Name's Bunnie. Lost huh? Well the crossroad here is Main Street and Deck Grove... Where's it yer lookin' for?"

[Leedzie]

Uncle Chuck peered into the vat of boiling oil at the rapidly browning potachao. "Oh, we've got the usual drinks," he called back at Fang without turning around. "Cola, off-brand cola, diet cola, cherry cola, caffeine-free cola, diet caffeine-free cola, classic cola, citrus cola, lemonade, pigeon milk, baby blood..." He turn and smirked. "Oh, and water for all weirdos."

That potachao was probably close to done. Chuck lifted the frier cage out of the vat and dumping the crispy, greasy, edible chao into the waiting plate, then set it onto the counter to cool. Ironically it appeared to be horrified. Must've just been the way it cooked.

"So!" he began again, leaning against the fountain machine, "what'll it be? ..." Uncle Chuck leaned toward the weasel and inhaled deeply. "...Wow, son. You smell like a garbage truck exploded in front of a florist." Straightening back up, the old hedgehog grinned and fingered his white, bristly mustache. "Tho' I could probably speculate as to how that happened..."

[Raki]

And that point, another frequent customer of Chuck's showed up. "Hello, Chuck!"

With guest in tow, as well. As Bogert had recommended earlier, Dash had dressed up in a hoody to try to hide his appearance a bit- apparently, the version of him here wasn't well to do with the law. Regardless of the status of his other self though, he was still in good spirits. "Hi!"

Fang raised a brow at the old man's mention of 'pigeon milk' and 'babies' blood', but said nothing. The old coot was probably just joking... "they have cola in cherry? Guess I'll take that..."

And he said nothing about his smell. Nothing. Only made a mental note to roll in more garbage later to get rid of the 'florist' part.

[Jamie Lee]

Well, the weasel apparently wasn't very interested in directions or small talk, so when Bogert arrived she immediately turned his attention to him. Hopping off her stool she bounded up to him and threw her arms around his shoulders, giving him a friendly embrace "Howdy there Bogert!" she greeted warmly before releasing him and turning her attention to the tenrec he had in tow "Who's yer friend here?"

[Leedzie]

"Alright, another friendly face!" Uncle Chuck set Fang's drink down next to his plate of food, waving at Bogert and his hooded friend. "Looks like things are finally starting to pick up around here!

"Say Bogert, you're into weird things, right?" The hedgehog snickered and nodded to the quiet weasel off to the side. "This poor guy's had a rough day. He went out skeet shooting in celebration of his first time eating cheese, but one of the shattered shards flew back down and stabbed him in the eye. He went running around flailing, and since he couldn't see -- what with a piece of clay in one eye and blood in the other -- he ran straight off an overpass and smashed into the windshield of a passing florist truck! The driver soiled himself and swerved wildly to fling him off (apparently they just thought he was a reeeaally big bug), and the poor guy rolled straight over the top of the cab and back into the flowerbed, killing all the foliage. After that the driver took a sharp turn and he got flung into a nearby compost pile, and since all his bones were broken, he couldn't get up and suffocated in all the rotting sludge."

Chuck continued to twist his white whiskers back and forth. "Well, that's my guess, anyway." By that time the potachao had cooled down, and the hedgehog snagged it from the pile of grease that had drained into the plate, wasting no time in biting off its head.

[Raki]

Fang raised a brow and took a sip of his soda as Chuck told his story. He said nothing, however, instead simple deciding that the old hedgehog was senile. It wouldn't be the first time he'd come across a senile fogey, and that was for sure- his own grandfather had been a bit on the nutty side, afterall. So with that in mind, the weasel put little stock into what Chuck instead, and instead focused on his soda.

Amazing. Actually did have a slight cherry taste.


Bogert returned the rabbit's hug with another, grinning widely as he did so. This is why he always came to this stand- not to eat (he couldn’t really anyway), but for the friendly locals. "Hello, Bunnie!" Once he released the hug he gestured over to his hooded friend. "This is Tade. He's my guest here for awhile. How are you today?"

And then... Chuck told his story. Bogert was well aware (nowadays, at least, though in the past it caused a bit of confusion for him) that Chuck's stories were purely fictional, and responded in kind with a solemn nod. "Well, at least he didn't die, that’d of been very unfortunate!"


Dash, however, paid little attention to the story, instead eyeing the menu. Unlike Fang, he wasn’t intentionally ignoring Chuck, but rather his attention was focused onto the fact that now that he was organic again, his sense of taste had returned, and he was more then willing to see if his memories of it held up to the real deal. He was hungry anyway, so that didn’t do much for his attention span either.

However, no matter how much he gawked at the menu board he couldn’t read a word of the menu. It was probably from being in another dimension, or so he reasoned to himself. It didn’t matter anyway though, there were pictures and his sense of smell (which he had again, joy of joys!) gave him enough of an idea of what was sold here- though his memory on what exactly the smell was was a bit foggy. And according to those foggy memories, it was chili, among other greasy foods. Dash had never really been overly fond of chili, but at the moment it smelled absolutely divine. And even if chili was all they served here, he was quite confident that he'd be completely comfortable with that. In fact, he made it a note to himself to never be picky about food ever again, after going so long without the ability to taste anything whatsoever.

Mouthwatering in anticipation, Dash had eagerly taken a seat at the stand while Chuck spoke, and having picked up a packet of relish, he pondered eating it straight just for the taste of it...

[Jamie Lee]

"Sunny day, says that's fine fer me!" she grinned, glancing over at Chuck as he bit into the potachao's "Aw shucks Charlie," she giggled "Ya killed it!"

She sat back down on one of the benches, leaning forward and glancing at 'Tade' as he studied the menu. She couldn't help but arch her brow and grin at the tenrec's expression "Mah gosh, honey, ya'll act like ya ain't eaten in months,"

[Leedzie]

The old hedgehog smirked at his 'niece', and poured a ketchup packet over the stump where the potachao's head once resided. And stared at it. And then snickered horribly before taking another bite.

"So, Tade is it?" Chuck wiped his hands on his little towel upon finishing off his starchy snack. "What'll it be? Chili dog? Fries? Hot dog, bun, and chili separated like a weirdo?" He paused and chuckled. "A chili dog would go great with your relish."

[Raki]

The tenrec blinked and looked around, as if suddenly realizing there were other people here.

"Mah gosh, honey, ya'll act like ya ain't eaten in months"

Realizing how he must be coming off, Dash found himself slightly embarrassed.

"Well, I... well yes you could say that." Since, after all, it'd be technically factual. Robots didn't eat, after all.

Clearing his voice and placing the relish packet back where he'd snagged it from, he replied to Chuck as well.
"Anything would be fine, really."

Having responded to that, he turned to look at the person who'd spoken to him a moment earlier. She sounded extremely familiar, but he couldn't exactly place where from. Actually seeing her, he blinked in startled surprise. If he didn't know there were doubles of people in this dimension, he'd think it was Bunnie from Knothole... pretty much exactly the same, right down to the mechanical limbs... but why'd she have robotic limbs...? Bogert had said there was no roboticizer in this world...

"Hi...", he started, pausing to make a gesture at her mechanical limbs, "not meaning to be rude or anything but... how'd that happen?"

[Jamie Lee]

Bunnie arched her brow at the tenrec's reply, ears twitching as she pondered that "On onea them liquid diets I guess?" she shrugged "Dun think Ah could stand sumthin' like that myself," she paused for a moment as Dash pointed at her limbs with his question, eyes drifting down to her mechanical arm. She smiled at his apparent curiosity and held it out for him to examine "Ah lost em awhile back in an accident," she looked up, her face suddenly taking a serious tone as she spoke "Ah was out at sea with ol' Charlie here bravin' the tides. We was divin', lookin' fer the lost ancient treasah 'ah Hababoloobie-boo which is said ta give anyone who finds it three gummie worms. Then as we was suitin' up an gettin' ready to dive the whole dang sky turned pitch black, an the winds were just howlin' at us cuz that there treasah's said to be cursed. But we didn't care none, nope! Course that was when the tornader came up outta nowhere, picked up our boat and twirled it way up in tha air," she twirled her finger above Dash's face for emphasis
"An then went SLAM. Killed the whole crew 'cept me an Charlie! Ol' Charlie wuddn't havin' none o' that though. So he slapped that there tornader an told it to go home! An it did too, ya'll ain't nevah seen a 'nader go cryin' for it's mama like that before, was a pathetic shame! So then we went divin' right? But then these here sharks came up wantin' to play with us, so we decided to play fetch fer awhile usin' some electric eels we wrapped in seaweed an painted pink. Then our arms got tired, but them sharks were still wantin' to play, to we threw them eels up to the moon and dove right down looking fer that there treasah, 'cept our oxygen tanks was runnin' out spendin' so much time with the sharks, and on topa that we all ended up gettin' the bends, and lemme tell ya Sugah, ya get that and ya'll don't want it! So we headed back fer shore and got ourselves up on land when a flyin' dressah came outta nowhere and flattened both of us! Killed us instantly, it did. Unfortunately there was also a bomb stashed in onea it's drawers, so the whole place went boom and left no survivahs!"

She hopped off her stool, placing one leg in it's seat and pointing dramatically at the sky "An that's how Ah lost mah arm an legs!" she glanced at Chuck "Ain't that right, Charlie?"

[Leedzie]

Behind the counter, Chuck's eyes welled with greatly exaggerated and overly-watery tears. "I'M SO PROUD!! MY LITTLE GIRL'S GROWING UP!!" With that he proceeded to blow his nose into his towel.

Hopefully he won't clean the counter with that one.

[Raki]

The tenrec just sort of... gawked. And tilted his head to the side. And made a sound similar to 'buh??'. She WASN'T serious, right? Or was this place really that weird?


Bogert, on the other hand, just took a seat and chuckled.


And Fang decided everyone here was insane. Every. Last. One of them. But still said nothing and continued his meal.

[Jamie Lee]

Bunnie grinned widely as she sat back down into her seat. Then with a look of stone cold seriousness, she turned, looking the tenrec in the eye "An that's the cold hard truth,"

Without warning her grin suddenly cracked again, and she burst out into a fit of giggles, slapping her knee "Aw shucks, Sugah, lookit yer face!" she hooted, snatching Dash's cheek and giving it a playful tug "Charlie, where's that camera when ya'll need it!"

It took her a minute or so, but she finally began to calm down; her expression grimming slightly - this time genuinely so "Hoo me... Seriously though... Ah lost mah original arm an legs awhile back. Tractor accident, y'see."

[Leedzie]

By then, Chuck had finally gotten around to serving Dash -- and oh did he serve him. Having taken note of the tenrec's ravenous nature, 'Tade' ended up with an entire tray of treats: two chili dogs with the works, chicken strips, a mountain of fries, some onion rings, an assortment of fruits, and a packet of cookies. "If you're still hungry after his," he chuckled, smacking his customer on the shoulder, "just let me know. There's pleeeeeenty more." Chuck started to turn away, then paused and looked at Dash a second time, peering at the features of his face he was able to see beneath the hoodie's shadow. "Y'know, you remind me of someone I know..."

The hedgehog quickly shrugged it off and made his way to the soda fountain. "What do you like to drink, kid?" He shifted his attention over to the ever-quiet Fang. "How about you, fella? Need anything?"

[Raki]

"I'm fine."

Nothing quite like people trying to be friendly while you were trying to eat. Like telemarketers.

...

Not that Fang had experience with telemarketers. But if he did, he'd probably regard them the same way.


Dash flushed at Bunnie's teasing, though it probably (and thankfully, for him) was not apparent due to the fur on his muzzle.

That flavour of embarrassment however faded away once Bunnie explained the truth of her predicament, and he feeling quite awkward for having brought something like that. "I'm ... very sorry to hear that." He cleared his throat a bit, but said nothing else after then, going awkwardly silent for a bit.

And yet those feelings also faded away quickly as Chuck revealed the feast.

Dash blinked in surprise- all this?!, but did not complain (gift horses and mouths and all). Instead, he happily grabbed a french fry and munched on it, delighting in it's taste, texture, and even smell. It'd been such a long time... and it was so good to have his senses back. It was even better then he'd remembered.

So wonderful, in fact, he'd almost not heard Chuck's statement or question, having to take a moment to actually realize what was said. "Oh, really? ... and anything is fine, really, thank you!"

The last words were said with absolute sincerity.

[Jamie Lee]

The rabbit watched Dash with intrigue as she snatched the lemonade Chuck had given her earlier and took a long draw from it. After a moment she smiled and leaned her elbow on the counter.

"No need to feel sorry, hon. Ah'm happy with mah life an a few bumps ain't gonna change that," her smile widened into a grin, and she leaned forward, attempting to get a better look at the tenrec's face under his hood "Ya'll should be ashamed of yerself," she chided good naturedly "Askin' a lady about her bod before ya'll even know her name,"

[Leedzie]

This is why you don't tell a fruity old man that 'anything is fine'; Uncle Chuck grinned devilishly and grabbed an extra large cup, proceeding to mix together a splash of each of the ten fountain drinks, the lemonade, each of the two kinds of coffee, and a kiddie carton of milk. "Here you go; let me know what you think!" Before the tenrec could get so much as a sip of his drink, the old hedgehog bolted to the other end of the counter and busied himself with arranging straws and swizzle sticks into a fort.

[Raki]

"No need to feel sorry, hon. Ah'm happy with mah life an a few bumps ain't gonna change that"

Dash nodded as he continued to eat his fries. It was a good attitude to have, respectable even. Of course then came the next part.

"Ya'll should be ashamed of yerself, askin' a lady about her bod before ya'll even know her name,"

At this point, Dash choked on one of said fries. He probably should of chewed it more thoroughly. LUCKILY (or not so luckily), Chuck had just provided a drink, which Dash quickly took a gulp of to clear his throat.

His expression a few mere milliseconds later revealed this was a mistake.

And yet, he still swallowed, then looked into the glass with a expression that could best be read as "OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT".

Okay, maybe I should rethink the not picky thing, starting with this...

[Jamie Lee]

And once again, Bunnie had degraded into a fit of giggles "That was mean!" she commented at Chuck, before giving the tenrec a gentle pat on the back, holding her mouth with her opposite hand and giggling into it "Ya'll okay there Tade?"

[Leedzie]

"Mean? That's tough love! It'll put fluff on your chest!" Uncle Chuck continued to scrutinize his house of straws. "Why, I used to drink that every day of my life, or my dear ol' pop would beat me with reeds! He was the one that invented the stuff, and insisted that we all down a gallon of it each day so we could withstand all the radiation when the government got out of control and finally got into a nuclear war! ...Except it didn't do that at all, and since we were the only family on the block that didn't build a fallout shelter, we all died. It was interesting watching my brother turn purple and walk into walls before he kicked it, though."

Just then a large delivery truck sped by, and the resulting breeze scattered Chuck's fort. For a moment the hedgehog looked positively horrified, but within three seconds he'd shrugged it off and headed back to stir the chili. "Of course, these days they immunize kids against radiation. But the vaccine doesn't work exactly right, and every time we have a nuclear war they just slowly melt into a pile of tapioca. But they do live, at least! Until they're eaten by the starving people that ran out of food in their fallout shelters."

[Raki]

"I'm o-" Dash trailed off a bit there and stared at Chuck as he told his story.


Just. Stared.

[Jamie Lee]

"Oh really!" Bunnie challenged the elder hedgehog with a smirk, placing both hands on her hips "If that's the case, how come you an Sonic ain't got them lovely chest locks that Shadow feller has!"

Meanwhile, a teal wolf was in the process of wandering by the stand. Idly he glanced up at the menu without stopping and took a sniff at air, which immediately caused his stomach to respond with a rumble. His scrunched his mouth, and without missing a beat swerved his direction and headed toward it, choosing the side opposite of where everyone seemed to have gathered and taking a seat. He idly tapped his fingers on the counter with a bored expression while waiting for Chuck to come over.